Emma Conquest [1997]
They get all the girls!
interview by Paul B
It was the night before, the night before, the night before Whitby, and not a creature was stirring...
Well, except for fifty or so jovial Goths eager to get in the party mood before high-tailing it up
to North Yorkshire to reek havoc, pillage and generally blunder. For the moment, we're still
stuck in Coventry. But hey, it's Tuesday; it's Heresy; and Emma Conquest - one
of the best young bands around - are warming up for their Whitby debut.
Their set tonight is swift (boom, boom!), and seems over in no time - which is always a
good sign (although the sequencer - loaned from Mike Manuskript - refusing to play one
of the songs ("The only one that everyone knows!") possibly has something to do with this).
Boosted to a trio, by the recent addition of bassist Tim to the constant core of Ryan (vocals/guitar) and
Simon (guitar/cool beard), they seem very happily balanced on stage - and the overall sound is
urgent to say the least. They even manage an impassioned cover of Kylie's best song,
'Confide In Me' (which will haunt them forever, if they play it a few more times...).
After the gig I grabbed a few words with the lads - perched precariously at the top of the stairs, trying to
avoid being flattened by hoisted PA equipment. I first of all asked Ryan to confirm everything I
thought I knew about Emma Conquest (originally formed in Loughborough; first gig in
Nottingham; name came from a book; there's been lots of other members but they've all left; and they
freeze Angel Delight). Surprisingly, for once, it seems that I've got my facts straight. With the past
cleared up, it's time to welcome the new member - what's Tim's first comment?
Tim (on the spot): Um... Umm... This was my debut gig, my first gig ever.
Deviation: Did you enjoy it?
T: Yeah. I absolutely crapped myself first, but I was well into it after.
Simon: How long have you been with us now? A couple of weeks? We've been teaching
him to play bass.
D: You didn't play before?!
Ryan: He just walked into the band with this new bass, and said "Can I play?"
Tim's Girlfriend(?): And they kept changing the bass lines.
R: Yeah, we did.
D: That's cruel.
R: Yeah, I know.
S: He's coming along extremely well.
D: You've been going a few years now, what keeps you going?
T: Financial reward!
D: Really?
T: No.
S: I can't help but write music. Like, I'll be at work and I'll be thinking: der-ner-ner-ner der-ner-ner-ner
(mouthes a familiar riff), I have to remember that and write it down when I get home!
R: How do you spell that?
S: What?
R: Der-ner-ner-ner, der-ner-ner-ner.
S: I just write songs in my head all the time!
('Temple Of Love' starts playing in the background)
D: You haven't used this riff yet though?
R: Oh yeah. Played it to death. Well we started off just playing Sisters' covers
S: Yeah, I mean we like to think of Rock City as our debut gig... But we actually did one
before that...
R: Yeah. When we very first started out we played two Sisters' songs. 'Alice' and 'A
Rock And A Hard Place', then we came back on for an impromptu 'Something Fast'. But it was shit!
S: I'd walked off stage by then.
D: So it was a solo performance then?
R: Nah, I wasn't singing at that point.
S: He introduced me to this guy on the afternoon of the gig! It was like: this is Neil, he'll
be singing for us!
D: So are you influenced by different things now than you were when you started out, musically?
R: Yeah. I mean, when we started out it was Sisters, Ancestry, Nephilim, and Rosetta.
D: And now?
R: Now it's Ancestry, Rosetta... and not the Sisters and the Nephilim anymore,
actually. (laughs) ...Stun! We're influenced by the Stun. In fact we almost wrote a song called
'Purple-Pig'.
D: Okay. Who or what is the 'Lunatic Of Substance'?
R: Actually, it stems from a woman I work with. She's as mad as a... mad thing.
S: Madder than Mad Jack McMad, you can quote me on that!
R: She was a self-proclaimed woman of substance, and also a lunatic. So she became the
Lunatic Of Substance. I mentioned it to Simon, and he liked the sound of it.
S: Also there's the vague drug reference to it.
(At this point we're all flattened against the wall as the speaker cabinets come hurtling
towards us, with no sign of slowing down. Sneering in the face of such danger, we carry on...)
D: What would you have to achieve to regard yourselves as a successful band, or a
successful Goth band?
R: Erm... Well I've always said it would be quite nice to be about as big as the Cocteau
Twins are. I think that's a nice sort of size to aim for. Still sort of underground, but very popular.
D: Popular enough to tour the world.
R: Exactly. As far as being a successful Goth band, it seems that, these days if you get
as big as Rosetta...
D: There's not really anywhere else to go.
R: Exactly. I mean, going the same route as the Sisters and the Nephs is not really an
option these days. And, as you heard from the set there's a few new elements creeping into our
music...
D: It certainly seems to be evolving.
R: Exactly. Yeah, we like the Rosetta kind of sound, so we've always been interested in
these elements... It's kind of like... Well, it's techno isn't it?! Sort of Techno-Goth.
D: What do you find so attractive about Goth Girls? Is it the corsets, or the psychoses?
(laughs all round)
S: Well, both really.
R: I just like the way you get these Townie-type blokes, who pick on Goths - but they see
these Goth girls, and they admire these women. But we fuckin' get them!
(more laughter)
D: Okay, deep question time... If your mind is a cage, which animal is inside it?
S: Hey, that's a good one!
R: Great question ...erm... Tim, you can answer this one! I can't even think of an amusing
answer
T: Ermm... Aardvark, maybe?
R: Aardvark?!
T: Not aardvark...ermm... a lima?... erm... funny animal... erm... oh yeah. A purple-pig!
R: Purple-pig, yeah that's it.
S: Purple-pig.
D: Okay, purple-pig it is. Right, Hollywood is making a film biography of Emma Conquest: The Band.
Who'd play you?
R: Jeff Goldblum. Simon thinks I look like Jeff Goldblum.
S: Val Kilmer.
T: Steven Seagal.
A short conversation on children's TV ensues, chosing a favourite between Bagpuss and
Rosie And Jim proves simple. The 'puss wins hands down, as: "Well, Rosie and Jim
was a bit shit really, wasn't it?" Choosing between Mr Benn and Bod, however, proves
much more difficult. Simon plumps for Mr Benn: "It's like I saw it quite recently, and it was so
condescending, we just didn't realise it at the time! It's like 'Cavemen used to live in caves' - I mean,
fucking hell, I never realised!" Ryan however leans more toward the Bod corner.
D: I've got to ask you about the cover of the Kylie song, How did you come to chose that? It works
really well!
R: Well, strangely enough, after we'd done it we had Manuskript come up to us and say
they'd been going to do it, and Sins Of The Flesh said they'd been going to do it aswell! So we just
got in there in time!
S: Story of our lives really. We'll say: let's cover that one. Two weeks later somebody else
will do it!
R: It's like the Dream Disciples with 'Sweet Dreams'. We'd planned to do that!
S: And Marilyn Manson did it aswell! Typical!
And with one last word sounding in the air ('purple-pig' naturally), the band wandered off into the night
to savour the rock-n-roll lifestyle of "a cup of coffee with the girl-in-the-hat".
The debut CD, The Lunatic Of Substance, is still available from all manner of places, and is
highly recommended. Ryan promises that an album will be out by the end of the year ("Called
Gemini Bound, named after the second song we played tonight... which was called Gemini
Bound!" (laughs) ).
A couple of minutes after the end of the interview, Tim grabs the tape recorder. and announces
he's thought of some more really important final words:
"Right, I'm new to this game, and I really want some fan mail. So everybody please write
to me! Okay? That's all. Thanks very much."
To contact Emma Conquest (for Tim's sake if not your own!), write to:
10 Kirby Drive
Kegworth
Derby, DE74 2HT
UK
Alternatively, visit the Emma Conquest homepage.
A review of the new Emma Conquest Promo Sampler cassette appears in the
Tape Reviews section.
